Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
