I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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