i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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