she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
