You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
