My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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