in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sorry about my life...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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