OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize