I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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