Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize