your thong is hanging out like whoa
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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