she was so not down for the gang bang
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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