Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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