is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
