And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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