I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize