I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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