i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
