I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize