If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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