This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
