when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
