You work out of a Hotel?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
