literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
