you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We have started to decorate penises.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
