dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize