i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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