hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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