The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
