Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
