Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
