she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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