god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
