It's Friday. Sex?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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