You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
