if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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