She said her name was "party"
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
