no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
