Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I came so hard my ears popped.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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