i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
