the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
