Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
