This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize