once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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