spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize