i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
that is very illegal...i love you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
