1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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