isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
