i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
