I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
