um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
