i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
