I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
