i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
