brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
