I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
we're so committed to being not committed
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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