I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sorry about my life...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
