I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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