mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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