I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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